Anyone else wide awake in the middle of the night out there?...

Seems like every other night - at least! - I'm wide awake at 2 am in the morning. Making lists, remembering to iron shirts, being mad at myself for still not getting gift cards for teacher appreciation day.

I don't know what's up with that. I'm sick of it! Aren't you?

I vaguely remember sleeping pretty well in the era knows as "Before We Had Kids." Oh, those were the days... We could watch R rated movies whenever we wanted and go to bed at 12. PM or AM. Oh yes, we could! We woke up pretty refreshed, too. My husband used to leave the house at 10 to go to work. I had a more civilized schedule, and had to be at the office at 8:30. Unbelievably, I made it every morning. Well most mornings anyway.

Of course, When We Had Kids, it stopped happening. Not because I was lucky to sleep in, of course.

Now all I dream about is.... sleeping through the night!

No, my kids don't wake me up anymore. Most of the time anyway;) They sleep like a baby. Actually, even better. Babies don't sleep that well. They grunt and they oink and they whistle. They fart, they cry, and they fuss. And that's when they are comfortable!

So basically, the roots of the expression "sleeps like a baby" are a mystery. Just like why moms of school-age children don't sleep that well. I have a guess though.

You know how in the middle of the night everything seems so dramatic? If I remember about the stale bread that I'd forgotten to throw out, that's it. That's enough for me to jump out of my warm bed and run to the kitchen to throw it out. It seems like if I don't immediately take action, it will infect the whole house in a matter of minutes. God forbid I remember anything school related! Then I'm doomed. I make lists of the things I'm supposed to do (or bring), I apologize for the things I'd forgotten to do (or bring), I reason with invisible opponents that they should do (or bring) things... And that goes on and on. For the rest of times. The night, I mean. But still, it feels like lasts forever.

Actually, I don't know what forever feels like. I'm not in a hurry to find out. Especially because I know my kids will grow way too soon. I have a feeling that already they don't like me very much. That's all right, sometimes I don't like me very much either. But you know, my kids used to love me in any shape or form! And now it turns out my hair doesn't look as cool as a certain friend's mom's. Argh! Like I don't see this for myself...

So yes, all of a sudden they are growing too quickly. Sometimes I sneak into my kids' bedrooms. Just to check on them. To watch them sleep. And then I inevitably step onto some doll (thank God when it's not lego) and make clumsy noises.

The worst thing is, I don't think it ever ends! Once you become a parent, there is no going back. You are bound for a lifetime of worry about your kids.

Oh, to melt into peaceful sleep!...